so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize