I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
