Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
