Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Randomize
