There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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