So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
