if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
