Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
