I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Randomize
