I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
