just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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