She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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