a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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