Pappa wants mamma naked
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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