apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
