dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
