omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
