Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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