I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
