Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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