Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Randomize
