Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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