On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize