Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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