I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
