Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
