Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Dear god my vagina.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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