I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
