life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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