dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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