I want to make a zoo with you.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
