Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I am midnight drunk by noon
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Randomize
