I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
