I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
