I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
