i dedicated my morning wood to you.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
