Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize