Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I lost the right to judge tonight
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
