): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
