Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
