bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
