I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize