She's JV to your varsity
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
