Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Randomize
