I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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