he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
