drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I want you more than these girls want KFC
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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