I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Randomize
