when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
