found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
