I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
