thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
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