I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
