After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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