how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
