Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
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