The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Randomize
