only if we run a train.
done.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
