hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
