My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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