Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
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