apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
